I envy...

I envy who I was yesterday
Carefree, fearless, and free.
Staying out 'til the street lights came on
Waiting for my turn in double dutch
Mama braidin' my hair
Listenin' to grandma's stories as I sat on her lap
Baby sittin' my sister
Havin' plum fights with my brother
Not a care in the world

I envy myself tomorrow
Carefree, fearless, and free
Hair turnin' gray
Eyes filled with the glory of what life looked like
Skin wrinkled from the years of what life felt like
Takin' in the joy of looking into my granchildren's eyes as I tell them stories as they sit on my lap
The memories of braidin' my daughter's hair

At the moment, my eyes, my heart and my soul are filled with envy
I cannot go into the past and retrieve what I once had
And the future is too far away to touch
This raging envy can only be quailed by remembering what I was
And dreaming about what the future holds