What a shitty way to wake up...

Every once and a while I have these. I have these twisted ass dreams about my grandma's death. All the scenarios are different, but each moment is the same. Seeing her unresponsive and just barely hanging on, and then she's gone. I always wake up so mad when these dreams happen. I always think, "ok, that was just a dream, she's still here... all I have to do is go finder her." Then reality hits. She's not here. Here in spirit. But not physically here. I have the worse headaches after these dreams because I just get sooo pissed off. I dunno where they stem from or why they are here, only that they make me miss here even more. Man. I really don't like this.