As I said in the blog before last, anxiety sucks!!!!! As promised here is a breakdown of what is to come:
Anxiety #1: Today I was slated to see a grief counselor. In 2000, my grandmother passed away, and I feel that I am still having problems with handling it. I feel that I need to talk to someone outside of the home, cuz it's just far too difficult to speak to my mom, brother, or sister about it. I really need some sense of stability when looking back on this situation. Often times and I can't help but think about what I didn't get to learn from her, or what I didn't get to tell her before she passed. I'm hoping that speaking to someone and getting all of my feelings out will help me in some way or another. I feel I need to talk to someone now, cuz I'm in the process of writin my grad school letter, and my grandma will be a big part of it. However, I do have some anxiety about doing so. I'm curious as to what we will talk about and how this will all affect me in the end. Well, it looks like I won't get around to that until next week, so the anxiety about this remains. I was late for my appointment cuz I get held over at work, and the counselor didn't have enough time to see me. A couple of days ago, I had some reserve about going through with this, and today I felt I had the confidence to go through with it. Oh well, we'll see how things turn out next Wednesday, which I just realized is the same day I have an eye exam. I hope I'm not too blind from getting my eyes dilated to find my way to her office. GRRRRR!

Anxiety #2: GRE is next Friday! I've been doing the study sets and keep averaging about the same score. GRRRRRR!!! I hope that the practice test will help me get an idea of what needs to be focused on more, so I can knock the actual test outta tha box!

Aside from all this anxiety, there is one bright spot. I talked to my good friend Jason yesterday morning at length, and I'm gonna get to see him in a couple of weeks! Jason and I were co-leaders in the Biology Scholars Program during our undergrad years, and he was essentially my "best" friend. It was nice to talk to someone when times got rough (academics, family, etc.), and basically having each other's back. In the last part of our junior years, I lost contact with him cuz I was focused on my major, and he got sucked into the black hole of Haas! Anyway, he has decided to pursue a medical career and is going to med school to become a neuro-surgeon (go Jason!). While talking to him yesterday, it seemed like we hadn't missed a beat. Sometimes when you contact someone that you haven't seen or heard from in a while, you find that they have become totally different, and it seems nearly impossible to recapture what you had before. I can't wait until 10/10 so that we can chat it up some more, cuz Lord knows I need it.