Things that make you say hmmm…

Weirdness man, I tell ya. Been experiencing a few things that just make me stop and question for a second or two. Last night I went to dance class for the first time in like 2 months. I was hella rusty! I swear I think my body was possessed, because every movement the teach was throwing out, my body was shootin’ right back… I was waiting for my head to spin and pea soup to start spurtin’ out of my mouth. It was not nice. Alan is a dope ass teacher, and if you’re ever looking to take a class in the bay, head to Dance Mission. He’s the choreographer for Mind Over Matter, and he’s been one of my group director mentors… he’s bomb, yo! But last nite, I have never felt so uncoordinated before in my life… I was rejecting that shit like it was a bad liver. Arrrg! But I will not be defeated! I will head back to that studio next Monday and make those moves my bitch! For now I will huddle in shame and hope that my fellow dancing buddy Jada Rocka doesn’t back out on me again… I need reinforcement.
Hmmmm moment: Me “Man, I’m hella rusty!”
Alan: “Yes Black girl, you are.”
I concur.

On Sunday I swooped by my home girl Maria’s because she was trying to unload her stuff before her move. She had some pretty cool stuff that I bought off of her for real cheap… she said I could just have them, but I felt kinda bad just taking stuff… I know what it’s like to be a baller on a budget seeking higher learning, so any little bit helps. But it was like baby/couple fest over there… which is always nice to see, but also puts a fat third or fifth wheel/”what’s up with you girl?!” label dead on my chest. I wish I could have spent more time kickin’ it, but I am still trying to clean and purge a lot of stuff around my place so I had to bounce.
Hmmmm moment: Can someone really find happiness in a relationship? What does “happiness” mean to them? Can I find someone that I am “happy” with, get married, have my 2.5 children, and a doctoral degree before I smack 35 in the mouth? Is that too ambitious? Why in the hell did I buy these dressers when I’m TRYING to get rid of stuff?

I was surfing other folk’s Xanga the other day and came across some chick’s page. The funny thing is that she was freely using the “N” word all over her site. What was even funnier/more sad was the fact that she was White. Huh? It puzzles me how lax people are when using such terminology to refer to each other and whatnot. I often hear the concept that the use of the “N” word is an act of empowerment… that folks use it to take power over the oppression, pain, and hurt that is associated with it. Hmmm, sometimes I don’t know about that. When folks that I know use it, it’s more so to beat one another down. Where’s the empowerment in that? I was at a club in Vegas once and the unedited version of “How do you Want it” by Pac came on, and I was dancing next to some dude that probably would have touted himself as his number one fan or something… of course “N” word galore flew out of his mouth left and right while he was rappin’ along. Me and my homie Maria shot him a “What the fuck are you saying?!” look and he substituted the lingo with “brotha” and “homie”. Nice.
Hmmmm moment: How legit is this whole empowerment theory and who developed it? When did the “N” word become so fashionable? Giving folios looks that can cut glass is pretty fun, eh?

Last but not least, the project that my team and I were working on for a year and a half has been selected for a poster presentation at the American Public Health Association’s Annual Meeting in November. Sweet! We get to work a poster session on the results of assessing Russian speaking newcomers over the age of 50 years that reside in San Francisco. Another dope thing is that the conference is in New Orleans! Hurricanes for everybody!!! However, our session is at 8:30am on a Wednesday morning… considering I’m a Bay girl, my body will think it’s 6:30am and want to head back to bed. Advanced apologies if I lean and drool too much on the poster guys… hehe.
Hmmm moment: What kinda questions will all these professional folks ask us? Is this all for real??? How in the hell are we gonna get our asses down there anyways and where are we gonna stay???