What the hell are you waiting for?
(Long post ahead)

So why public health? That’s the question that jogged in my mind as my classmates and folks from other cohorts convened for our introductory seminar. This year is the final installment of my three year program, and all of the work that I have done on a professional, personal, and academic level are all coming together and making a heap of sense. I guess to answer my own question is to figure out what solidified my involvement in public health. It stemmed from one of the final convos I had with my grandma before she passed. I was in my final year at UCB and was finishing up my senior project on health disparities and African-Americans – particularly prostate, lung and breast cancer in the African-American community. I told her all the ins and outs of what I was doing and why… “That’s excellent. We need that baby,” my grandma says to me. I tell her that I wanna do something to help access to quality care to be a lot better for folks that can’t afford it, or even know where to get it. She goes on to say, “I’m glad you’re doing this work because you have no idea how hard it is.” When she said that, I thought that she was speaking from the experiences of her siblings, that all passed away from one form of cancer or another. It wasn’t until a year later that I realized that my grandma was including herself with the many people that are affected by cancer and face obstacles in seeking quality treatment in a timely fashion.

Now my grandma lived with us, and we were like this *fingers twisted*, but I had no clue whatsoever that she had cancer. I was aware that she had heart disease, and shortly before her passing she had a major heart surgery. But the convo of cancer came up with anyone. I didn’t find out what claimed her life until I was correcting a scholarship application that my sister had written. I’ll never forget the line… “A few months ago, I lost one of the most important people in my life to cancer. My grandmother.” Huh? When did that happen? How come nobody told me? You can imagine the anger, hurt, and frustrations that I felt. That I had to find out a year after the fact and in a paper no less. Nobody talked about it. It was never a part of a convo. After reading my sister’s paper, I asked my mom why she didn’t tell me what was going on while my grandmother was alive. Maybe I could have done something, or been there a bit more. My mom told me that my grandma didn’t want me to put my studies on hold… that she wanted me to keep focused.

At first I didn’t understand it, but now it all makes sense. My grandma’s situation taught me a valuable lesson about dedication, a vision, and a purpose. Dedication and staying on a course that is filled with pitfalls and uncertainty; having a vision to sustain you in this feat; and to develop and reflect on the purpose that you were destined to strive for. I’d like to think that my grandma had a premonition of what my future might be, and I hold her as being one of the instrumental cogs in my passion for public health. This summer, I did an internship and conducted a project on adult African-American women and cervical and breast cancers – particularly focusing on the silence that surrounds these illness; and how come our families grow silent when the “Big C” presents itself. I can’t go into details about what the project entailed, in order to preserve the privacy and integrity of the women that I worked with, but every last word that they put out in the wind was resonated and reflected in the final product – with the hope that what they shared will provide a foundation for future endeavors to wipe out cancer completely.

This summer was powerful. On a personal note, what I learned from them is helping me with my ongoing healing process and development. On an academic and professional note, I still have another year left to develop a final project for my last year, and I’m happy that I finally get to work on a project that my heart and soul is completely invested in. I’m also starting to make the next steps in my public health pathway by preparing for *gulp* post graduate studies. Most applications are due in December, so I have to get all my ducks in a row now before things get out of hand. Today I can safely say that I have never been more juiced about public health. It’s amazing how a tragedy can have positive results. In hindsight, I think my grandma was speaking to me about her situation a lot louder than I thought – and I’m glad that I am now able to pay full attention.