Stupid is as stupid does….

Today I ingested enough ignorance to last me a whole week. From dumb asses cutting in front of me in Starbucks, to fools talking to me as if I were a third grader or something. I felt like I must have had a sign stuck on my chest that said “Hey, if you’re an idiot, come give this girl shit =).” Bitches. Here is a run down of the ignorance I endured:

- Some mofo cut in front of me at Starbucks. He acted like he had no idea I was ahead of him, by walking up close to the counter to get a look at the menu. He was so close to the guy that was placing an order that I thought he was gonna hump his leg or something. This mofo was so bold, he started to take the money out of his wallet, still totally ignoring me. While looking at me, the barista goes, “ I thought you were next, right?” Hell yeah I was next, until this jerk ass got in my way!! The dude goes, “Well, what difference does it make?” It makes a hell of a lot of difference, considering that you are inhibiting my liquid crack fix mofo!. The dude then says something stupid to the barista, looks at me, then storms off. What a punk. Could it get any worse?
- Yes. While I was still in Starbucks trying to read, I had a hard time trying to focus, cuz these two high school chicks decided to reenact a scene from “Clueless” right across from me. They were so damn loud, and the shit they were talking about wasn’t even funny – let alone make any sense. They were sharing one of those easy chairs, but in the eventually one girl wound up sitting on the lap of the other. This prolly would have been hot to some pervo, but I kept thinking, don’t they have a Gap sale to go to? Why in the hell are they randomly calling guys and asking them if they think they’re cute? Why are they taking pictures of each other with a hair clip on their noses? When in the hell are they gonna leave??? It’s gotta get better today, right?
- Hells no. I go to Joy’s on Telegraph to get a hat for my mom, and one particular clerk was such a biatch. I wanted to get one of those fitted Cal hats, but the way she was talking to me, I think she assumed I couldn’t spell the word hat. She goes: “You see, these hats are fit-ted. They have a closed back. And they increase in sizes by an eighth of an inch. You have to reeeeally be sure that you know the size you want before you buy it.” Really?!?! Duh, I didn’t know that. Then I asked her if I could try it on, and she gives me an “eh, that’s prolly not a good idea” face. Arrrrrgggggg! Why do the stupid exist?
- The day wasn’t a total wash though. I met up with the SLC crew at Raphael’s on Center, just above Shattuck in Berkeley. If you get the chance, you gotta go there! From 3pm-6pm on Tuesday through Friday, all drinks are ½ off! A lush’s dream. And appetizers are only $5! It’s a mad cool atmosphere, and even better when you get a chance to kick with folks that are anti-ignorant people as well. My folks and I got fat off of yummy food, and yummy alcohol – I HIGHLY recommend the Rum Coco – sweet alcohol goodness. Afterwards, we totally ruined our good health behavior for the week but loading up on some Ben and Jerry’s – a nice way to cap off a hot day, and to titrate all the liquor in or systems. Nice.
So a note to all, if you are approached by dumb people in any fashion, don’t waste your breath talking to them. Run like the dickens and find the nearest watering hole to wash the stupid people cooties away.
In all seriousness, have a safe and happy holiday weekend. Heavy emphasis on the safe part. =)