Damn, it sucks to be a grown-up! It's amazing how your perception changes as you get older. I know, I know, that's pretty obvious, right? But when you stand back and look at the big picture, it will blow your mind away. I'm realizing that I am beginning to encounter instances that I thought were only reserved for my mom, aunts, uncles, and other family elders and such. I never thought of the day that I would have friends that were military veterans. Or the day that I would have friends that are worrying about their job stability, or have been laid off, or can't find work anywhere. I never realized how much the smallest things have the ability to stress you out to the nth degree. Some times I wish that I could stop the clock and reverse it 5 or 10 years, or advance it to a point when these worries no longer exist (if that's ever possible). I'm finding that I have been a victim of false advertising as well, as when you are in the process of advancing in your education, you are often told how doing so will ALL BUT guarantee a bright and successful future. Believe me, I am not doubting that it doesn't. The point that sticks in my craw is how you are not given a fair warning of what is out there after you succeed, academically at least. Like how you may be in competition with about 80-100 other applicants who have gone down the same path as you did, for 1 position. Amazing. I am really seeing how job lay-offs in eduaction is not just limited to Oakland, but to surrounding areas as well, and it is hitting hard. There are so many teachers in the Berkeley Unified School District that received their pick slips, and have no clue as to what they are going to do in the fast approaching summer, let a lone beyond that. At Washington Elementary School, they have erected a display on the fence near the playground, with photos of teachers holding their pink slips with a banner above reading "Save our teachers." Why are we not devoting our time and energy to items that matter, like education? It's only fair considering that a part of this "great success through education" deal was to receive a great education. How are children expected to do so when no one is there? Yet another item that floats around my head, pining for a dock to port. Another such thought that continues to sail adrift is the idea of reverse ageism. Just because I am young does not mean that I am not worthy of respect. I was often taught that in order to receive respect, you have to get it. I guess there are some that did not obtain such a valuable life lesson. A few days ago I was returning some chairs that we had borrowed for a health fair, and one of the office administrators questioned where I had gotten them, and if I had followed the appropriate procedure for getting them. I had no problem with her wanting to know such information, but my gripe is with how she said it and where. She spoke to me in a very condescending manner in front of two other program directors. You're taught to be a professional, but it sucks so badly when things situations arise. I was thankful that the next day one of the directors came to apologize for the "drama." Especailly since right after that encounter, an e-mail was sent out about how three chairs were missing. The next day when people saw me bringing them back, co-workers were like "So you're the culprit?" Or "You're the one that spawned the e-mail?" They were joking of course (thankfully), but I can't help but feel like I was branded with the scarlet letter. For two chairs?!?! Maybe I should have been a little more firmer, but with all the drama I have encountered in the past few weeks or so, it tends to roll off of my back. I don't know, I guess we grow and learn from each experience we encounter, right? If I'm not careful, I'm gonna be an amazon. Too big to fit anywhere because I have grown beyond my means.