What happens in Vegas….
21 questions style

look at pics here: www.xanga.com/katssoapopera

1. Will my folks and I ever learn how to pack?
2. How come my place can’t be this damn neat and with phat electronics like this to play with?
3. How can a woman have a 60-year-old face with 20-year-old breasisis?!?! That just ain’t right.
4. How come almost all the girls we saw in Vegas had fake boobies? I felt like I was in a frickin’ Barbie convention.
5. How come the farther you go down the Strip, the shadier it is? My sister’s friend Neema and I went down to the Hilton on our quest to try as many buffets as we could, and it was straight boo boo – the gravy was made from powder, the mashed potatoes were from powder – I think the water was made from powder too. And the Hiltons are supposed to have phat pockets no? I see why now, they have shitty hotels and charged people up the ass on every damn thing. What a rip!
6. How come all the guys that go clubbing out there smell like they drank a bottle of cologne?
7. Why is it that the shortest dude in the club has to act the wildest? I’m not that tall, and there was some dude that was about 2 or 3 inches shorter than me (it felt good to be tall for a minute... hehe) Anywhos, somebody made the mistake in telling this guy that he could dance, and he was doing some spastic chicken- humpty dance- running man – Carlton Banks combo and sweatin’ like a President Bush in a spelling bee. He was fun, until he tried humping my leg – or was he still calling that dancing. I dunno. His homie tried to back his ass up on Neema and she needed him in it. Then he walked away. That was priceless – I have to use that next time.
8. How do you cure sore ass feet? Neema and I tried to be cute with these go-go boots and heels and it messed our feet up big time. I danced and walked around so much, it felt like my damn feet were on fire! It didn’t help that I have a poor ass since of direction, and Neema and I got lost on our way back to the hotel… so that meant more agony, considering we had to walk over that lame ass cobblestone at the Excalibur. Nice.
9. How come I don’t get massages more often? The next day, I treated myself to a massage at the day spa in the MGM Grand… that was sweeeet! I need to do that more often – it was nice to zone out for a bit. But I didn’t need to see the naked lady getting into the Jacuzzi or hear some old ladies talk about and compare their saggy boobies… that almost killed the moment.
10. What if they gave away free drinks everywhere? That would make standing in line that the post office or DMV a bit more bearable. I think I drank a million piña coladas. I think my liver is happy that we are back in the Bay.
11. How come I didn’t find the blackjack table sooner?
12. How come I didn’t leave the blackjack table sooner?
13. How come we didn’t rent this scooter earlier? My sister’s foot got messed up pretty bad and she couldn’t walk on it – poor girl, so we rented a scooter – which meant that Neema and I could play on it – here are some pics of Neema doin’ donuts near our room:
14.How come a tall coffee at the Starbucks in the MGM cost $2.50? That put me in caffeine detox pretty damn quick.
15. How much more alcohol could kattygirld consume? My personal best was 5 in a row on our second to last day. I’m a drunkard.
16. How come lady luck didn’t shine on Neema and I? Curses!
17. How come the Stratosphere seems so close, yet is so far?
18. How come nickel and penny slots are so addictive?
19. Why were all these folks winning at the slots in the airport? The machines mock me.
20. Why is the airport ion Las Vegas so crazy? Our flight got delayed for 2 hours, so we just sat there. Some woman was talking to my mom and tried to push her son on me. Then she tried to dump him on my friend, then my sister’s friend, and then my sister. Craziness. And she was serious! I was soooo happy to get on that plane.
21. So when are we gonna go again?!?!