Yay!!! I'm so glad this week is over. So much went on, and I am glad the burden is lifted. I dunno, I just wasn't in the best mood this week. Maybe it was just me, as well as other things influencing these feelings. It sucks when you get so emotional times that you just break down and cry. But at the same time, it is nice to have a good cry because it does cleanse the soul. One reason why I was so emotional this week is beacuse I really miss my grandma. It's funny how emotional shifts cause you to step back and analyze situations so clearly. It didn't hit me until a few days ago that the reason I miss her so much at this time is because Mother's Day is this Sunday. This will be our 3rd one without her. We are going to visit her on Sunday and I am gonna have this awesome bouquet made for her (Thanks Tina, you're the best!). Other things: I'm feeling a bit out of the loop with folks as of late. I've been involved in a few convos in which I felt like I didn't fit in at all. Not that it was over my head or anything, but I just have nothing to offer beacuse I don't have experiences with the topic. One such was about starting families... hmmm... I think of having a family some day, as I love children and I kinda have sense of how many (2 or 4 -- no middle child syndrome perpetuated here!), But I can't say I am at the point of planning when and where, and with who. It's also a bit frustration when people take your silence for passivity, because it's not. I just don't have anything to offer. Grrrrrrrr! It's gotta get better than this.

Analyze this! Gosh, I don't know why I have been so analytical the past week. Might as well ride the wave while I have the chance, right? Anywho, I finally saw the "Matrix" this past weekend. I know, I know, hella late, right? Well, I had reservations about watching it because honestly, I cannot say that I'm a big Keanu Reeves fan. "Speed" seems to have been the only film of his that I was able to tolerate thus far. He's cute and all, but how many times can he say "Whoa!" in a movie...haha! Anwho, I did enjoy the "Matrix." It dragged a bit towards the middle, but I loved the action scenes (can't help it. I'm a sucker for them I guess). Once again, I started out watching the flick with an awake mother, sister, and cousin, but by halfway in, they were knocked out. Amongst the snoring and random sleep talking, I was still able to analyze the plot of the story. Essentially I came to the conclusion that the theme of this film was based on the concept of mind over matter. Regardless of how difficult a situation may be, in order for you to be successful, your ability to remain balanced and positive will help see you through it. This really hit home with me as of late, considering it is back to school for me in the Fall. After I got my acceptance, I thought to myself, "Am I ready for this? Will I make it through?" Ironically, today Ana did my "I-Ching" reading on her trusty palm pilot, and it essentially told me to chillax. Although, I cannot give you the wonderfully detailed interepretation Ana gave me, it essentially told me not to trip off of issues that seem impossible or have various levels of difficulty. I'm gonna start applying the mind over matter concept to everything I do. Red or blue pill? Give me the red one for sure. I've come this far, and there is no turning back now!